original poetry - outside

just went for a quick walk outside
the air was chilly
the air was damp
the city seemed hungry
almost voracious
and at the same time
the city looked actually
appetizing
the first time
in a long time
i felt like sinking my teeth
into this mundane town
burdened with the paychecks
of a thousand architects
who sold their drafting tables
to the highest bidder
i climbed out from
a recently found
pit of desperation
i chose to climb out
before the lights ran dim
before i could even find
the tiniest thing i admired
for muck and destitution
can come across as pretty
with the right canvas
with the right alteration
but i don't want to formulate
the beauty i swim within
i want it to be natural
i want it to be wrong and right
i want it to be alive
i think it was the perfect purgatory
for i learned that limbo
is a place i'd rather not visit
again and again or anymore
i will bleed and lie
deep in concussion
before i shall ever
stagnate myself again
for only i am to blame
for only i can escape
for i am outside