fancy

a common longing of mine
is to have a suitor
someone who i fancy
who fancies me in return
too often i find myself
obsessed with someone
that thinks of me never
or i am the subject
of someone else's fascination
who i wouldn't give the time of day to
but when i find that mutual attraction
when i find an exciting counterpart
i drown the situation
in caustic inaction
and sabotage the situation
so
i have decided
not to pursue any more
romantic distractions
until i know that i can
handle the complication
of someone who i fancy
that fancies me in return
for obviously
i am not equipped yet
with that particular protocol
stuck in one place
by my misdirected nectar
trapping me in cynical solitude
yet instead of growing bitter
like so many others often do
i will tend to my garden
religiously
to prepare my paradise
for the proper intruder
so that he may discover
all of my favourite fruits
before they become overripe
and rotten and inedible
delicacies i have been waiting to offer
to the highest bidder
for as long as i can remember
until then
i shall find something else to fancy