original poetry - 'sandcastle'

why do i always need a deadline
in order to rush and deliver?
why can't i perfect my emissions
on my own volition?
why do we have to break down and crumble
like an abandoned sandcastle?
overcome by the high tide of a thunderstorm
swallowed and deformed
the moment so nihilistic and fleeting
a notion so far from rarity
my irreverance has garnered me notoriety
my mental fashions have inspired my celebrity
but yet they still feel so hollow
my adventures still feel so empty
why do we do the things we do?
everything is just another gesture
to eventually construct an imperfect kingdom
to enjoy a most temporary rule
taken away after a mistaken political maneuver

i have been working hard on the inside
for so long i have denied myself
the reconstruction of my visage
the preservation of my would be grand facade
perhaps that is the missing component
to finally reach what i think is unreachable
happiness constant yet changing
with each twist and turn of my body
each extension of my limbs
each breath that invades my chest
each drop of bloog that boils me alive