success?

i despise the past
for it always regurgitates itself
into the present
eventually polluting my future
and dissolving any hope i possibly had
deteriorating my driving force
and making my powers fade
intot he realm of storybooks
i am a pleasant demon
a gremlin for good if you will
irreverent as some would say
delivering a passion never seen before
or not seen very often at least
i have quite an eventful history
whether i wantto disdain it or not
but i keep catapulting into darkness
and i constantly find myself
fighting storm clouds and thunder
to find my solace
someday i think
everything will fall into place
i just hope i am coherent enough
to witness it all
i definitely deserve much more than this
i've struggled for way too long
people know who i am
people respect me
people flock to me
then with all of this
why can't i ever be successful?